is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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