We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
