bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
