like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
