If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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