1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
