96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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