hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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