ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
