Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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