She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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