remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
