I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
