He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
love makes seman taste better
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
