Is it normal to miss your booty call?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
