2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
