im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
