Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
