This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize