ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
