That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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