between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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