i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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