Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize