I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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