would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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