i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize