I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize