One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
