ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
