can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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