O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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