I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
there is glitter all over my balls
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
