the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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