as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
