Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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