someone get that fucking seahorse.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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