YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
