Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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