maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
