yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
