the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
