i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
