1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize