my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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