i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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