Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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