yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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