I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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