Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
