So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
