Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
