Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
