I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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