I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
