In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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