yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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