is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
