you're like a bully in the Christmas story
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There's always time for handjobs
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
