im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
