it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
