redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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