What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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