Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
