I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize