Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
