yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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